A Guy's Guide to Building an Engagement Ring part 1 of 5 (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) "I'm a man . . . But I can change . . . If I have to . . . I guess." -- Man's prayer from The Red Green Show Welcome to the Organized Registry engagement ring building guide. This guide will help you effortlessly build engagement ring setting/stone combinations. This guide is made especially for guys--for two reasons. First, men are usually the ones who buy engagment rings. And second, while men are not usually keen on shopping in general, they (actually "WE." I'll admit it. I'm a guy.) could especially use some encouragement for this kind of shopping. For me it's helpful just knowing that I can build something. Why Real Men Can't Stand Shopping for an Engagement Ring There are two kinds of things you can shop for: Manly and Girly. And there are two kinds of shopping experiences: Low Pressure and High Pressure. This gives us four kinds of shopping experiences: Low Pressure High Pressure Manly I II Girly III IV Let's look at each quadrant. Quadrant one: Low pressure manly shopping: This is shopping heaven for us. We're talking books, sporting goods, and food here. You'll rarely hear me complain about doing quadrant one shopping. Quadrant two: High pressure manly shopping: Quadrant two is both better and worse than quadrant one. It's better, because now we're talking about some really cool things. We're talking cars and stocks and boats and land. But it's worse because we really have to psych ourselves up (and educate ourselves) to prepare for the sales tactics. I'm not up for Q2 shopping every day. Once in a while it's really fun. But it takes preparation to avoid being taken in. Quadrant three: Low pressure girly shopping: Quadrant three is not enjoyable at all. In this quadrant we're talking about shopping for shoes and bags and clothes and perfume. You know the drill. She says "Let's go shopping." And you say "Sure." But you think "Am I crazy?" You know what you're in for. First you're going to walk through a clothing section, and she'll have her hands all over the place, pulling out a blouse here, and a shirt there, saying "What do you think of this one?" "What do you think of that one?" "What about this one?" Phew! You'll be asked to make fifty snap judgments a minute about things you know nothing about. It hurts my head just thinking about it. But that's just the beginning. Next you'll walk back toward the dressing room with her. You'll have your head down and your hands in your pockets, drudging along as though you're carrying a great weight. And she'll walk pertly ahead of you, with a spring in her step, even though she's carrying four-hundred pounds of clothing! Then she'll try on each item, and ask you how she looks. Actually, she has about four different ways of asking this question, and you'd better give the reply that agrees with what she already thinks. (So why are you here??) Then she'll leave all the clothes off their hangers on the bench, for the clerk to clean up after her. (And she gets on you for leaving a dirty shirt on the floor!) Did I say this is LOW pressure? Well, it gets worse, because there's . . . Quadrant four: High pressure girly shopping: Now this is shopping purgatory for guys. Girly, AND high pressure. And, unfortunately, this is where shopping for an engagement ring fits. If you go shopping, at a jewelry store, with your girlfriend, be ready to be tag-teamed. Clerk: "Oooh, let's try this one." Girlfriend: [broad smile, eyes twinkling, looking at clerk like they're sharing together the most incredible moment in both of their lives] Clerk: [bringing ring out] "Look at her finger come up for this one." (Let me know if you find a clerk that doesn't use this line!) Girlfriend: I like it. [tear in her eye]. Clerk: [reaching for a more expensive ring] "If you liked that one, you'll really like this one." Girlfriend: OK [high pitched and muffled, more like "eeew key." What else can she say in such an ecstatic state?] Clerk: [turning to you] "Now doesn't she look happy?" You will notice at this point that your girlfriend will not look at you. She will look only at the clerk. After all, this is their special moment together. And you will also notice that the clerk will look at you from time to time with a look that says "You're a jerk if you don't buy her something that will get me a big commission!" To compound the problem, you don't know anything about diamonds or settings. You have no way of knowing if you're getting a good deal, or are being taken to the cleaners. That's quadrant four for you. Aaargh! "So What's A Guy to Do?" Well, first, read the rest of this five-part guide. I will do my best to give you the information you need to do battle. And, you'll see, I think you can actually avoid the whole jewelry store scene and come out far ahead in many ways by shopping for, building and buying an engagement ring online. We have four more issues to cover before you are prepared: Choosing a band and setting. Choosing a diamond Using a really neat tool to build engagement ring stone-setting combinations. Considering whether you should buy your engagement ring online. So let's get started ... Continue to part two: Select a Setting . . . This is part 1 of 5 (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)